Old Man And his pregnant wife

An 80 year old man who got
married to a 22 year old female
went to meet his friend.

Man : My wife is pregnant. See, i
can do it even at this age!

Doctor : Let me tell you a story.
There was a hunter who lived in
the village. He was an old man.
Once while he was preparing to
go to the forest he accidentally
took his umbrella thinking that to
be his gun. In the forest he saw
a bear. The bear was about to
pounce on him. He panicked and
opened the umbrella mistaking it
for his gun. He heard a sound
and the bear dropped dead
before him !!!

Man : Impossible! Somebody else
must have shot the bear...
Doctor : Exactly !!!

Faith on a Doctor

exhausting wife

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time.

After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has sex.

"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.

The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.

"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."

ear condom

Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex?

A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
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coma

Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying, ''I think she's choking!"

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LEARNED DOCTORS

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

So I went to a psychiatrist and told him. . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared.. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..'

How much do you charge?'

Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the expert.

'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

Six months later, he met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

'Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought myself a new car!'

'Is that so?' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'

FORGET THOSE LEARNED DOCTORS..

GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER.