Santa and doodhwala

Santa Apne Doodh Wale Se Ladte Hue Bola

Santa: “Yaar Tum Do Din Se Doodh Dene Kyun Nahi Aa Rahe Thhe??”

Doodhwala Udai Se Bola: “Sardar Ji, Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi, Isliye Nahi Aa Paya”

Santa Kuch Soche Ke Bola: “To Koi Baat Nahi! Bhains Ka Doodh Hi Le Aate!“

KAJU BADAM

1 BUDA SANTA KO ROZ KAJU BADAM KHANE KO DETA THA

SANATA- AP MYZE ROZ KAJU BADAM Q KHILATE HO

BUDA- BETA DANT TO HAI NAHI CHUSKR FEKNA THIK NHI LAGTA

Santa Ka Password

Net Banking Ke Liye Santa Ne Password Banaya,
Ram Sita Laksman Hanuman Dehli Spiderman,
Banta :-
Yaar Itna Lamba Password Kyu Banaya,
Santa:-
Yaar Bank Wale Kahte Hain Ki,
Password Mein 5 Carrector 1 Capital,
Aur 1 Special Carractor Hona Chahiye…

Miser (Konjoos ) Santa and Banta

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone
for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money.
I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

Santa Aur Jagjit Singh

Jagjit singh- ye daulat bhi lelo ye soharat bhi lelo....

ye daulat bhi lelo ye soharat bhi lelo...

santa- ye bahut dukhi hai iski aurat bhi lelo......

Santa' s Hot water

Ticket for children

Santa: Should I purchase Tickets For My little Children.?
Conductor: Yes! Only If They Are more than 8.
Santa: be grateful God ,I Have merely 6 Children..!!

Organic Veghitable

एक baar जीतो ने  Santa को जैविक खाद द्वारा उगाई गयी  vegetables  के ऊपर एक लंबा चौड़ा भाषण दे डाला aur  कहा की अब से तुम जब भी vegetables  लाओ तो जैविक खाद द्वारा उगाई vegetables  ही लाना।
अगले दिन Santa  सब्जी लेने सब्जी मंडी गया aur  एक दुकान पर जाकर vegetables वाले से बोला।
Santa : अरे भाई मुझे अपनी wife  के लिए सब्जी ले जानी है, to  क्या तुम मुझे बताओगे की इन vegetables  पर किसी रासायनिक या ज़हरीले पदार्थ ka  छिडकाव तो नहीं किया हुआ है ना?
सब्जीवाला: नहीं sahib , यह काम आपको खुद hi करना पडेगा।

Banta in heaven

A Priest dies and is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Banta the taxi driver from New Delhi!

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles and says to Banta: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger and says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe and enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe and a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name and goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?

'Results my friend, Results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.

While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.

Moral: It's PERFORMANCE and NOT POSITION + EDUCATION that ultimately counts!

donation

Banta's son: Dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.

Banta: Give him a glass of water.

an urgent letter to Bill Gate

Dear Bill Gates,

This letter is from Mr. Santa from Punjab. We have got a computer in our home and we face some Problem, which I want to bring to your notice.

After connecting to Internet we planned to open an email account. But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail in password field only * comes, But in rest of the fields whatever we typed comes but we faced The problem only in Password field.

We checked with Hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we have opened the email account with password *****.

But I request you to check this as we our self don't know what is the password!

The next one is that we are unable to enter anything after we shut down the computer. There is a button for start but not for pause, stop as in stereo recorder. We request you to add the same in future.

There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of my neighbor after clicking started running and he has run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request you change that to SIT. So that we can click that by sitting.

One doubt is that can I click Re cycle bin. I own a scooter in my home. Is there a separate option as Re scooter bin available in the system?

In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the outer view of the mail. Is there an in look through which we can have inner view of the mail?

The last one is my wife has lost the door key of our house. So I searched for the same in search option of start icon. But I did not find the same there also, Is it a bug?

Rest In next letter.
Yours Anonymously,
Santa Singh

Santa at railway station

Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"
Man Replies 12.30.

"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"
Man Replies 11.30.

"When will Punjab Express go from here?"
Man Replies 10.30.

Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not. Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!

intelegent Santa & Banta

Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, "How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?" Santa Singh replies, "I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours." So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too. And the next day
Banta Singh is worried and says, "I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours." The next night the kids cut the other horses ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc. And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.
At last Banta says, "BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA"