Demonstration

A teacher decided to do a visual demonstration in a class. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the class, the teacher reported the following results: "The first worm in alcohol - dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup - dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil - alive." So the teacher asked the class: "What can you learn from this demonstration?" A little Jim in the back quickly raised his hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms."

Two Black Eyes

A man came home from work sporting two black eyes.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I'll never understand women," he replied. "I was riding up in an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!"
"I can certainly appreciate that," said the wife, "But how did you get the second black eye?"
"Well, I figured she liked it that way," said the husband, "So I pushed it back in."

Q n A

I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in.
She said: Cheque books.


The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.


What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.


Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.


What is Nurse?
A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.


Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir. 
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.


Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!


Q: What's the difference between mother wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.


Banta enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly. 

A tip of $1,200

A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job.

The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.

Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"

The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."

The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?"

From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200." 

Who is cleaver Teacher of Student

One night 4 college students were playing till late night and didn't
study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean
and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their
return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all
the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the
test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked
him and said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they
appeared before the Dean.


The Dean said that as this was a special condition test, all four were
required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.


The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.


Q.1. Your Name.........................(2 MARKS)





Q.2. which tire burst................ (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!!!     (   a true story......)

TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE:

 

1. To plant your ideas in someone else's head.

 

2. To put someone else's money in your own pocket.
 

The one who succeeds in the first one is called a TEACHER

And the second is called a BUSINESSMAN.

The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE.

The one who fails in both is called a HUSBAND !

 

There are 4 questions

There are 4 questions. Don’t miss one.


1.  How do you put a giraffe into a  refrigerator?

 Stop  and think about it and decide on your answer  before you scroll  down.





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 The  correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in  the giraffe, and close the door. This question  tests whether you tend to do simple things in an  overly complicated  way.

 






 2  How do you put an elephant into a  refrigerator?






 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





 Did  you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the  elephant, and close the  refrigerator?

 Wrong  Answer.

 Correct Answer: Open  the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in  the elephant and close the door. This tests your  ability to think through the repercussions of  your previous  actions..








 






 3.  The Lion King is hosting an animal conference.  All the animals   
attend  .... Except one.   Which animal does not  attend?


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 







 Correct  Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the  refrigerator. You just put him in there.   This tests your memory.. Okay, even if you  did not answer the first three questions  correctly, you still have one more chance to  show your true  abilities.







 4.  There is a river you must cross but it is used  by crocodiles, and
you  do not have a boat. How do you manage  it?




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


 Correct  Answer:? You jump into the river and swim  across. Have you not been listening? All the  crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.  This tests whether you learn quickly from your  mistakes.

 According to        Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90%  of the  Professionals  they tested got all questions wrong, but many  preschoolers got several correct answers.     

 

 

"WHAT" MEAN FOR WOMEN