What U See is Not Always TRUE

What U See is Not Always TRUE!!

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Lawyer

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men
along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to
stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to
eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,"
the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there,
under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a
wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as
large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and
said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The
grass is almost a foot high."

William

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. 

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. 

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy." 

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

 At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."  

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. 

She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay.

 William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa.." 

"Thanks," said the grandfather, 

"but I'm William .......the little sh*t's name is Kevin."  :-))))))))

Before Marriage and After Marriage

Before Marriage 

 

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.



She: Do you want me to leave?



He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?


He: Of course! Over and over!


She: Have you ever cheated on me?


He: NO! Why are you even asking?


She: Will you kiss me?


He: Every chance I get!


She: Will you hit me?


He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!


She: Can I trust you?


He: Yes.


She: Darling!


After marriage...  


Simply read from bottom to top.