LEARNED DOCTORS

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

So I went to a psychiatrist and told him. . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared.. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..'

How much do you charge?'

Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the expert.

'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

Six months later, he met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

'Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought myself a new car!'

'Is that so?' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'

FORGET THOSE LEARNED DOCTORS..

GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER.

Memory Clinic

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other," Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" 

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." 

"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" 

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. 

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" 

"You mean a rose?" 

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

Kind Husband

*A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room,

"Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will
jump out the window of your hotel". .

The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter. .

Husband: "The window won't open! That's a maintenance matter !"*