santa & english

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

vagetarian chicken

Each Friday night after work, Santa would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, “You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."

Santa’s neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighbourhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato"!

Tight Dress

UNIVERSAL TRUTH : When girls wear tight fittings, Neither they are Comfortable Nor Boys are.

intelligent Santa

Perwez Musharraf and his wife are travelling in USA when they meet Santa Singh who is also travelling with his wife on a holiday.
They start talking and realise that both are going to take the same train the next day. At the station Perwez buys tickets for himself and his wife. However he notices that Santa Singh buys a single ticket.
"How are two people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks Pervez.
"Just watch and youll see!" answers Santa.
They all board the train and the Musharrafs take their seats and watch as Santa and his wife cram into a nearby restroom and close the door. The train departs and shortly afterwards the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Musharrafs see all this and agree that it is a clever idea to save some money. So on their return trip, they decide to copy the Singhs.
They purchase a single ticket for the return trip, but to their astonishment, the Singhs do not buy even one ticket.
"How are you going to travel without even a single ticket?" says Musharraf.
"Just watch and youll see!" answers Santa.
They again board the train. This time the Musharrafs cram into a restroom and the Singhs cram into an another restroom nearby. Shortly after the train moves, Santa leaves his restroom, walks over to the restroom where the Musharrafs are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please