chicken in the theater

A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"

Banta in heaven

A Priest dies and is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Banta the taxi driver from New Delhi!

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles and says to Banta: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger and says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe and enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe and a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name and goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?

'Results my friend, Results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.

While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.

Moral: It's PERFORMANCE and NOT POSITION + EDUCATION that ultimately counts!

donation

Banta's son: Dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.

Banta: Give him a glass of water.

an urgent letter to Bill Gate

Dear Bill Gates,

This letter is from Mr. Santa from Punjab. We have got a computer in our home and we face some Problem, which I want to bring to your notice.

After connecting to Internet we planned to open an email account. But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail in password field only * comes, But in rest of the fields whatever we typed comes but we faced The problem only in Password field.

We checked with Hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we have opened the email account with password *****.

But I request you to check this as we our self don't know what is the password!

The next one is that we are unable to enter anything after we shut down the computer. There is a button for start but not for pause, stop as in stereo recorder. We request you to add the same in future.

There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of my neighbor after clicking started running and he has run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request you change that to SIT. So that we can click that by sitting.

One doubt is that can I click Re cycle bin. I own a scooter in my home. Is there a separate option as Re scooter bin available in the system?

In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the outer view of the mail. Is there an in look through which we can have inner view of the mail?

The last one is my wife has lost the door key of our house. So I searched for the same in search option of start icon. But I did not find the same there also, Is it a bug?

Rest In next letter.
Yours Anonymously,
Santa Singh