Banta in heaven

A Priest dies and is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Banta the taxi driver from New Delhi!

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles and says to Banta: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger and says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe and enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe and a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name and goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?

'Results my friend, Results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.

While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.

Moral: It's PERFORMANCE and NOT POSITION + EDUCATION that ultimately counts!

donation

Banta's son: Dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.

Banta: Give him a glass of water.

an urgent letter to Bill Gate

Dear Bill Gates,

This letter is from Mr. Santa from Punjab. We have got a computer in our home and we face some Problem, which I want to bring to your notice.

After connecting to Internet we planned to open an email account. But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail in password field only * comes, But in rest of the fields whatever we typed comes but we faced The problem only in Password field.

We checked with Hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we have opened the email account with password *****.

But I request you to check this as we our self don't know what is the password!

The next one is that we are unable to enter anything after we shut down the computer. There is a button for start but not for pause, stop as in stereo recorder. We request you to add the same in future.

There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of my neighbor after clicking started running and he has run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request you change that to SIT. So that we can click that by sitting.

One doubt is that can I click Re cycle bin. I own a scooter in my home. Is there a separate option as Re scooter bin available in the system?

In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the outer view of the mail. Is there an in look through which we can have inner view of the mail?

The last one is my wife has lost the door key of our house. So I searched for the same in search option of start icon. But I did not find the same there also, Is it a bug?

Rest In next letter.
Yours Anonymously,
Santa Singh

Santa at railway station

Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"
Man Replies 12.30.

"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"
Man Replies 11.30.

"When will Punjab Express go from here?"
Man Replies 10.30.

Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not. Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!

intelegent Santa & Banta

Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, "How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?" Santa Singh replies, "I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours." So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too. And the next day
Banta Singh is worried and says, "I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours." The next night the kids cut the other horses ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc. And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.
At last Banta says, "BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA"

Banta an excellent councellor

Doctor Banta the advisor and counselor Dear Dr Banta, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set of for work leaving my husband watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husbands help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbors daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I cant get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Sheila. Banta reply to Sheila Dear Sheila, a car stalling after being driven for a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps. Dr. Banta

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