Daag Ache Hai

Ek Cute Se Bachhe Ko Dekh Kar,
Ek Ladki Ne Us Ke Gaal Par,
Kiss Kar Diya,
Ladki :- I Am Sorry ,
Aap Ke Gaal Pe Lipstick Lag Gayi,
Bachha :- It Is Ok Baby,
Kuchh Achha Karne Se Agar,
Daag Lagte Hain,Toh Daag Ache Hain…

Tumhaare Charno Ki Daasi

Shadi Se Pahle Biwi Likhati Thi,
Tumhaare Charno Ki Daasi,
Ab Shaadi Ke Baad Likha Jata Hai,
Tumhaare Khoon Ki Pyasi,

Santa Ka Password

Net Banking Ke Liye Santa Ne Password Banaya,
Ram Sita Laksman Hanuman Dehli Spiderman,
Banta :-
Yaar Itna Lamba Password Kyu Banaya,
Santa:-
Yaar Bank Wale Kahte Hain Ki,
Password Mein 5 Carrector 1 Capital,
Aur 1 Special Carractor Hona Chahiye…

Khud Khusi Par Bhasan

Ek Aadmi,
Khud Khusi Par Bhasan De Raha Tha:-

Khud Khusi Paap Hai,
Julum Hai, Gunah Hai,
Bujdili Hai, Pagalpan Hai,
Khudkhusi Karne Se Behtar Hai Ki ,
Aadmi Khud Ko Goli Maar Le…

Women Extremely Complicated

7 complicated facts about Women :

1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3.buy expensive clothes but never have anything 2 wear.
4. Never have anything 2 wear, but always dressed beautifully.
5. Always dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment,
but don't believe them if complemented.
Extremely Complicated!!!
Aren't they??

When Raju Shrivastav mimicked Lalu Yadav in front of him

Suhag Raath

Suhag Raath Ke Badh 
Dekh Wife ke Ada
Husband Ne Wife se Poocha,
Kal Raat Kya Mehsoos kiya?
Wife Ne Kaha,5% Sharam,
5% Dard Aur 
90% Purani Saada(Yaadein)

Awesome Answers

Awesome Answers In IAS Examination

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to builda wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC23rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days withoutsleep?

A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the bluesea what it will become?

A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?

A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?

A: Dinner.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?

A: Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)

BIWI

Duniya ki best "MAA" to har
bete ke paas hoti hai,
.
.
.
.
Lekin pata nahi duniya ki best
"BIWI"
Padosi ke paas hi kyu hoti
hai.. ??

Indian Engineers

"Once in a soap industry in
Japan,
.
The soap cover was mistakenly
packed without soap in it
i.e empty box. To avoid the
problem in the
future
Engineers purchased X-Ray
machine of 60 thousand dollars
to check whether soap is Packed
in every cover
or not in assembly
line.
Same problem occurred in
India..
What did they do?
Indian Engineers simply put a
fan beside d assembly
line&Empty
boxes were flown away!
.
India Rocks :)"

Engineering Student

Prove that 2/10=2

Commerce student:
Wrong question.

Medical student:
No Way.

Professor:
It's strange, how is it possible?

Engineering Student:
Two/Ten
=wo/en
(T with T cancel)
w = 23rd letter
o = 15th letter
e = 5th letter
n = 14th letter
So,
23+15 / 5+14
= 38 / 19
= 2

Airhostess

Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai,
Jamin pe rahne wali bache deti hai.
Kaun hai Jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin par deti he?
Santa: Airhostess!

Cockroach in Soup

Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai,
Ek Boyfriend Apni Girlfriend Ko
Ek
Restaurant Main Lekar
Gaya.UskePaas
Paise Nahi The, Wo Apni Jeb Main
Ek
Coackroach Lekar Gaya, Aur
Saara
Khana Khane Ke Baad, Usne Soop
Mangaya Aur Usme Coackroach
Daal
Diya, Aur Jor jorSe Chillane
Laga,”Ye
Kya Laga Rakha Hai, Customer
Ko
Zeher Khilate Ho”
Manager Ne Request Ki, Please
Shor
Mat Machaiye Aur Saara Bil
Maaf Ho
Gaya.
.
Agle Din Usne Ye Story
Apne Ek Friend Ko Sunayi, Aur
Uska
Friend Bhi Uski Girlfriend Ko
Lekar Usi
Restaurant Main Gaya, Aur Jab
Usne
poora Khana khane Ke Baad Soop
Order Kiya, To Reply Mila Ki Soop
Khatm Ho Gaya.

Boy and Girls , marriage after effects

Girl to Boy -

.BEFORE MARRIAGE

Girl :- Chand kahan hai ??
.
Boy :- Chand 2 Hain ek Chanda
mama Aur dusri tum ♥ .:P
.
Girl - Awww how Sweet . :*
.
AFTER MARRIAGE.
.
.
Wife :- Chand kahan hai.....??
.
.
Husband - Andhi hai kya.....??
Wo upar kya tera Baap CFL lekar
betha hai...?? 

Hud HUd Dabangg , Dadangg

kissing a girl on her forehead is respect,,
kissing a girl on her cheek is care,,
kissing a girl on her eyes is care & love,,
kissing a girl on her lips is love,,
but kissing a girl.........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

in front of her boyfriend... HUD HUD DABANGG
DABANGG DABANGG ...

Old Man And his pregnant wife

An 80 year old man who got
married to a 22 year old female
went to meet his friend.

Man : My wife is pregnant. See, i
can do it even at this age!

Doctor : Let me tell you a story.
There was a hunter who lived in
the village. He was an old man.
Once while he was preparing to
go to the forest he accidentally
took his umbrella thinking that to
be his gun. In the forest he saw
a bear. The bear was about to
pounce on him. He panicked and
opened the umbrella mistaking it
for his gun. He heard a sound
and the bear dropped dead
before him !!!

Man : Impossible! Somebody else
must have shot the bear...
Doctor : Exactly !!!

Miser (Konjoos ) Santa and Banta

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone
for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money.
I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

Raju Srivastav Aap Ki Adalat Part 2

Raju Srivastav Aap Ki Adalat Part 2 by onlineindya

Raju Srivastav Aap Ki Adalat Part 1

Raju Srivastav Aap Ki Adalat Part 1 by onlineindya

Faith on a Doctor

Facebook

Worst Job

Panada meaning in Dictionary

 A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”

The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.

So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”. It reads:

“Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

Wife and Beggar

Husband : Why did you give so much money to the beggar who was pretending to be blind?

Wife : Didn't you hear his good words to me?

Husband : No, what did he say?

Wife : He said that I was so kind, so pretty and so young.

Husband : Oh, I see. He's really blind.

Accident of a Married Couple

A married couple was in a terrible accident in which the man's face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby face!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

Santa Aur Jagjit Singh

Jagjit singh- ye daulat bhi lelo ye soharat bhi lelo....

ye daulat bhi lelo ye soharat bhi lelo...

santa- ye bahut dukhi hai iski aurat bhi lelo......

Bhagwan Kho gaya

दो भाई थे। एक की उम्र 8 सालदूसरे
की 10 साल।
दोनों बड़े ही शरारती थे।
उनकी शैतानियों से
पूरा मोहल्ला तंग आया हुआ था। माता-
पिता रातदिन
इसी चिन्ता में डूबे रहते कि आज
पता नहीं वे
दोनों क्या करें।
एक दिन गांव में एक साधु आया।
लोगों का कहना था कि बड़े हीपहुंचे हुये
महात्मा है।
जिसको आशीर्वाद दे दें उसका कल्याण
हो जाये। पड़ोसन ने
बच्चों की मां को सलाह दी कि तुम अपने
बच्चों को इन
साधु के पास ले जाओ। शायद उनके आशीर्वाद
से
उनकी बुध्दि कुछ ठीक हो जाये।
मां को पड़ोसन की बात
ठीक लगी। पड़ोसन ने यह
भी कहा कि दोनों को एक साथ
मत ले
जाना नहीं तो क्या पता दोनों मिलकर
वहीं कुछ
शरारत कर दें और साधु नाराज हो जाये।
अगले ही दिन मां छोटे बच्चे को लेकर
साधु के पास पहुंची।
साधु ने बच्चे को अपने सामने
बैठा लिया और मां से बाहर
जाकर इंतजार करने को कहा ।
साधु ने बच्चे से पूछा –”बेटे, तुम भगवान
को जानते हो न ?
बताओ, भगवान कहां है ?”
बच्चा कुछ नहीं बोला बस मुंह बाए
साधु की ओर
देखता रहा। साधु ने फिर अपना प्रश्न
दोहराया । पर
बच्चा फिर भी कुछ नहीं बोला।
अब साधु थोड़ी नाराजगी प्रकट करते हुये
कहा – ”
मैं क्या पूछ रहा हूं ..? भगवान
कहां है ?
” बच्चे ने कोई जवाब नहीं दिया बस
मुंह बाए साधु की ओर
हैरानी भरी नजरों से देखता रहा।
अचानक जैसे बच्चे की चेतना लौटी। वह
उठा और तेजी से
बाहर की ओर भागा। साधु ने आवाज दी पर वह
रूका नहीं सीधा घर जाकर अपने कमरे में
पलंग के नीचे छुप
गया। बड़ा भाई, जो घर पर ही था, ने उसे
छुपते हुये
देखा तो पूछा – ”क्या हुआ ? छुप
क्यों रहे हो ?”
”भैया, तुम भी जल्दी से कहीं छुप
जाओ।” बच्चे ने घबराये हुये
स्वर में कहा।
”पर हुआ क्या ?” बड़े भाई ने भी पलंग के
नीचे घुसने
की कोशिश करते हुये पूछा।
”अबकी बार हम बहुत बड़ी मुसीबत में
फंस गये हैं। भगवान
कहीं गुम हो गया है और लोग समझ रहे
हैं कि इसमें
हमारा हाथ है!"

Computer Engineers

Drunken Man

Husband The Master of Wife

Wife and Beggar

Meaning of WIFE

Ma Tu Hoti To

Charlie Chaplin In Police

Charlie Chaplin In Musical Tramp

Charlie Chaplin In The Bank

Charlie Chaplin in The Fireman

Middle East and Coca - Cola Ad

• A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters... First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
  "That should have worked," said the friend.
  The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

Dekh India Dekh - Rajesh as Akbar & Rajiv as Chanakya - 18th July 2009

Dekh India Dekh - Rajesh as Akbar & Rajiv as Birbal with Kirti - 4th july 09

Bollywood stars ki insult

Raju Srivastava enthrals audience at Agenda Aaj Tak 2012

Shrikanth Maski Very Funny

Comedy Circus - Sudhesh n Krishna (Ravana special)

Comedy Circus - Sudesh Lehri & Krishna (12 35 Ki Local Local) - 10 May 2008

funniest comedy circus chrishna and sudesh

COMEDY CIRCUS KE SUPERSTARS -kapil n natasha-driving school

Dr.Tushar Shah's Laughter video, with Hritik Roshan as Guest

suresh albela at kota concert part 4

Great Indian Laughter Challenge 4- 19 SEP SURESH ALBELA

The Great Indian Laughter Champions 7th-November P-6

The Great Indian laughter Challenge October 3rd final part 5

suresh albela's laughter challenge compilation 2

Santa' s Hot water

Goerge Washington's Skeleton

A Boy Proposed a Girl

Girl Email Address

English Class

Ticket for children

Santa: Should I purchase Tickets For My little Children.?
Conductor: Yes! Only If They Are more than 8.
Santa: be grateful God ,I Have merely 6 Children..!!

Organic Veghitable

एक baar जीतो ने  Santa को जैविक खाद द्वारा उगाई गयी  vegetables  के ऊपर एक लंबा चौड़ा भाषण दे डाला aur  कहा की अब से तुम जब भी vegetables  लाओ तो जैविक खाद द्वारा उगाई vegetables  ही लाना।
अगले दिन Santa  सब्जी लेने सब्जी मंडी गया aur  एक दुकान पर जाकर vegetables वाले से बोला।
Santa : अरे भाई मुझे अपनी wife  के लिए सब्जी ले जानी है, to  क्या तुम मुझे बताओगे की इन vegetables  पर किसी रासायनिक या ज़हरीले पदार्थ ka  छिडकाव तो नहीं किया हुआ है ना?
सब्जीवाला: नहीं sahib , यह काम आपको खुद hi करना पडेगा।

Hiccup

This is a riddle. It works well if you let the students ask yes and no questions about the situation, before revealing the answer.
Q: A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun, and points it at the customer. "Thank you" replies the customer and walks out. What happened?
A: The customer had hiccups.
  (It always works - a shock as a hiccup cure appears to be an international thing.)

True Music Lover

How Do you Identify a True Music lover:

A man when hears a women is singing in the bath room , 
He puts his ear on the keyhole rather than eyes.

Longest Word

What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

Dogs Leg

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

Class Room and Train

Class Room is Like a Train
1st Two Benches r Reserved For VIP . .
Nxt Two Benches r General coach
Then
Last Two Benches r Vry Demanded.
Bcz Its SLEEPER COACH :P :D

FAST FOOD

A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor.
Which will reach down first?
.
.
Ans:The Pizza,as it's fast food!

Charlie Chaplin - Boxing

Charlie Chpalin- genius

Charlie Chaplin-The Idle Class

Charlie Chaplin - The Lion's Cage

Charlie Chaplin -A Night Out

Charlie Chaplin-The Circus

Tom And Jerry Fun And Speed

Tom und Jerry -Tom macht immer wieder

Just For Laugh

Sexy Bikini Nun

FULL MOON

Funny traffic video

VERY FUNNY CLIPS

Wonders of the World

Newes Reader

Airlines Ki Marketing

Dadaji and Kaam Vali Bai

Kavi sammelan

Laughter Knights 23 Jan 2009