Banta an excellent councellor

Doctor Banta the advisor and counselor Dear Dr Banta, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set of for work leaving my husband watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husbands help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbors daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I cant get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Sheila. Banta reply to Sheila Dear Sheila, a car stalling after being driven for a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps. Dr. Banta

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santa & english

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

vagetarian chicken

Each Friday night after work, Santa would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, “You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."

Santa’s neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighbourhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato"!

intelligent Santa

Perwez Musharraf and his wife are travelling in USA when they meet Santa Singh who is also travelling with his wife on a holiday.
They start talking and realise that both are going to take the same train the next day. At the station Perwez buys tickets for himself and his wife. However he notices that Santa Singh buys a single ticket.
"How are two people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks Pervez.
"Just watch and youll see!" answers Santa.
They all board the train and the Musharrafs take their seats and watch as Santa and his wife cram into a nearby restroom and close the door. The train departs and shortly afterwards the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Musharrafs see all this and agree that it is a clever idea to save some money. So on their return trip, they decide to copy the Singhs.
They purchase a single ticket for the return trip, but to their astonishment, the Singhs do not buy even one ticket.
"How are you going to travel without even a single ticket?" says Musharraf.
"Just watch and youll see!" answers Santa.
They again board the train. This time the Musharrafs cram into a restroom and the Singhs cram into an another restroom nearby. Shortly after the train moves, Santa leaves his restroom, walks over to the restroom where the Musharrafs are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please

A for apple ,B for.............

Jokes Category  >>  Santa & Banta - Dumb & Dumber  Joke No : 198  A for apple B for‏ Banta class mein - madam maine "abc" yaad karli.. Madam -ok , to sunao.. Banta - abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz….. Madam - arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple Banta - ok madam…. A for apple. B for bada apple. C for chhota apple. D for dusra apple. E for ek aur apple. F for fokat ka apple. G for gol apple. H for hazar apple I for itney saarey apple? J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple L for lena padhega tumko apple M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple P for peth bhar khaao apple Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple R for roz agar khaao tum apple S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple V for very tasty hai yeh apple W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple X for X'mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple Top of Form  Joke Added : 27, January  Joke Viewed : 40,482 times  Current Rating: 4.23   (137 Votes)   Rate this Joke   Share: Twitter Facebook StumbleUpon Bottom of Form Top of Form Share this Joke with your Friends! Stats: This Joke has been emailed 271 times! Your Name      Your Email      Friend's email address: 1:  2:  3:  4:  5:  6:  Optional message to your friends: Image Verification Enter Verification Number  Automatically save form fields! (More Info) * Funtoosh respects your privacy and doesn't share or store any info you submit via this form. For more info refer to our privacy policy. Bottom of Form Popular Jokes   ta were sitting on a tree and ..   boss calls up Santa on phone a..   S Preeto caught her husband..   ta - Mental Hospital Santa ..    An out-of-towner drove hi..   Dad there is some one on the d..    try to kill the bird he had c..    doing what they do best! S..    Santa got his promotion an..   vites an Englishman for lunch,..   nta look into the mirror with .. Site Related Links   Add to Favorites   Random Jokes Generator   Print Version   Submit Content T-Shirt's for the web designers 18 Votes 21,249 Views Guys Let's Join This Office! 77 Votes 67,853 Views What your username says about U 18 Votes 23,591 Views What the hell is that and they... 103 Votes 68,099 Views Heights of Laziness 37 Votes 24,928 Views I don't want to see that 23 Votes 27,832 Views Top of Form Search this site Bottom of Form Comments/Suggestions       Home       Advertise on Funtoosh      Copyright 1999 - 2012 All Rights Reserved.