Santa at railway station

Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"
Man Replies 12.30.

"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"
Man Replies 11.30.

"When will Punjab Express go from here?"
Man Replies 10.30.

Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not. Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!

intelegent Santa & Banta

Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, "How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?" Santa Singh replies, "I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours." So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too. And the next day
Banta Singh is worried and says, "I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours." The next night the kids cut the other horses ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc. And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.
At last Banta says, "BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA"

Banta an excellent councellor

Doctor Banta the advisor and counselor Dear Dr Banta, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set of for work leaving my husband watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husbands help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbors daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I cant get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Sheila. Banta reply to Sheila Dear Sheila, a car stalling after being driven for a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps. Dr. Banta

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santa & english

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."